I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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