guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
