I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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