I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
