Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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