My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me I talked like a deaf person
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize