Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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