I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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