Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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