I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
