ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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