Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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