That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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