that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
