still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize