he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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