I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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