he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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