Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
honey bunches of taint.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
