If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
