you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
