Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
