I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
