Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
