so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
