We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
