if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
