I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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