Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
