Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
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I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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