hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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