Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
