I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
