lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
