Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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