why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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