Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
