Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
