Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
