Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
