do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
