Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
