Just cropdusted the office
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
