thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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