yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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