She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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