White coat. Heels.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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