Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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