Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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