and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
