so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
