Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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