I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
