first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
