So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
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Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
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You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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