hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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