is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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