these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
