Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
