Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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